Sir Titan Wants To Know What Did I Do Wrong

favacon-TitanSir Titan Wants To Know, What Did I Do Wrong?  I realize I have outgrown my three pound ball of fur stage and some of the cuteness has worn off. According to Mom, that also happens in real life. As that woman says on Project Runway, “one day you are in and the next day you are out.”  Well today I am OUT! I was removed from a Facebook group today. I guess I should have my fur knickers  in a knot, a growl on my face and be as upset and mad as Mom is. However that is kind of hard to do since I didn’t even know I was “in” to begin with. The question is, what did I do wrong?

But let me tell you, Mom has definitely got her knickers in a double knot. It was bad enough early this afternoon when she decided to be a domestic goddess and bake an apple pie, only to be shot down once again by the all knowing master chef of the household. You know, after her zillion and one attempts being shot down over and over again, you would think she would learn to stop making them. I’m not a psychologist or anything remotely close, but I do know enough to walk away with my tail between my legs and curl up in corner when my value is not appreciated or I’m not respected. Of course, I can lay in that corner with a smile on my face because I have a few tricks tucked away in my arsenal of “I’ll get even with you buddy.”  And yes, I will be pulling a few of those out tonight.  Since he is darn near deft and blind, he just can’t hear or see it coming anymore. Sometimes it’s just way too easy.

As if Mom wasn’t hurting enough, she picked up a Messenger notice that came through on her iPad after the apple pie drama happen. The look on her face said it all. My first thought was that they had discontinued the Hostess* Orange Cupcakes again. Then all of a sudden she was crying and typing away, nonstop. At that point, I could tell by the pressure of her fingertips on the keyboard letters that she was giving them the simple facts of the situation.

Afterwards, Mom and I snuggled in on the sofa so I could dry her tears with my fur and she could explain to me what had happen. It was a continuation of the 42 year war of family. For all those 42 years Mom has kept quiet out of  respect to one member of said family.  Last week, the need to do that ended. So when the Facebook removal notice came through, it was stand up for Sir Titan time.

I didn’t understand that being removed from a group would give the impression I had done something wrong and against Facebook’s Terms Of Service, therefore being a black eye punch against my business account. That’a not a good thing since Facebook will most likely freeze my page and account, not that the person delivering the punch will care.

Truthfully, I haven’t worked on that page and built the business I originally envisioned. However, Mom and I have been working on getting my website in tip-paw shape the last few weeks, so this mean-spirited removal could not have happen at a worse time.

I say its time for a dog fight (or in this case, a cat fight), but Mom says “un-knot that fur and thinking young man. Fights provide instant gravitation and there will be none of that dished out from here”. Okay mom, but I hate it when you are logical.

So now it will be a dog-sit-and-wait few weeks to see what Facebook will be doing about it. Tonight I will be sitting on Mon’s desk watching her remove herself from everything remotely or closely associated with these people.

brown_paw_printYou know, when it comes to family, I think the animal world has it well figured out. We are born, taken care of for a few weeks then given away. If we are really lucky we are placed with a family that loves one another and welcomes us unconditionally. When we arrive we give the family a piece of our heart. When we die, we take a piece of their heart with us.

 

*Hostess is a registered trademark.

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Does Your Dog Speak English

Dog poodle isolated on white backgroundDoes Your Dog Speak English?

We are smart, sometimes too smart for our fur. Not to mention smart enough to make you think that yes, your dog does speak English. Seriously, we don’t have a clue.

During the first several months of my life I thought my name was No. That’s because Mom and Dad were constantly saying no to me, so I just thought that was my name. Kind of funny when you ready my early posts and realize just how many name changes I went through during that first year.

So, if you want to communicate with us on a serious note, you are going to have to learn sign language. We actually communicate through body language. Now, don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean you are going to have to sniff, well you know what and yes – we can learn some verbal commands, but it is best to train us by showing us what you are saying.

It’s simple really. Want us to sit? Then simply put us in the sit position on the floor and give us the “sit” command and the hand sign you have decided to use for the word sit.  A word of warning here…if you are not agile or flexible, by all means don’t attempt sitting down on the floor yourself for us to see how to do it. That has been done and believe me there are limits to our ability to help out in a situation like that (not that I would know that first paw or anything.) We can’t call a tow truck and we can’t dial 911 or the neighbor. We can’t even bark the command to Siri or Cortana. If we offered you a helping paw, you would flip us right over you head and out the window while trying to get up. What we can do, is snuggle up along side you and keep you company until someone comes home or to visit. Of course by then the puddle(s) on the floor would most likely be considerable and don’t even think about trying to blame it on “the dog”.

Plan ahead and figure out some hand signals the down, stand, stay and come commands. Position us and then show us what you want with the hand signals. Most of us are quick and easy learners. In fact we are usually excited to learn something new. We certainly want to learn if it makes you happy and you show it by your excitement or praise.

Just think about it for a minute. How exciting to you think it is to sniff grass and walk the same yard four or five times a day, day after day? Believe me, not exciting stuff. That is why we get in so much trouble around the house or out in the yard when we are really bored. Want to see a dog owner get really excited and look up from their phone or iPad? All you have to do is find something disgusting in the yard, put one shoulder downward and act like you are going to roll your ears in whatever it is. Let me tell you, there is nothing as sharp as the peripheral vision of a dog parent.

Some dog parents are treat based trainers. Thank goodness I was born into one of those families. Others are pat-on-the-head and praise trainers. Truthfully, dogs react evenly to both kinds of praise, so there is no right or wrong. However, the wider I see my backside getting and the more remarks Mom makes about my cute little jiggle walk the small the treats get. I could make a few comments about her walk, but I’m not totally brain dead at the moment. For now I will just go with the really baby Milk Bones, turkey bites or chewies and keep my bark to myself.

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Three Years Old – 21 Years Old In People Time

Dog poodleMarch 2, 2015 – Wow, I’m three years old – 21 years old In people time ! Can you believe it? This could be an interesting year. In people years that is 21 years old, and you know what that means – I’m pretty much free to do whatever I want without pawental supervision. Hum, wonder where I should exercise that right today, you know – just to see what happens and all. Maybe that under-the-fence hole I started last fall. All I want to do is go visit my two neighbor dogs, Maggie and Buddy. They are bigger than I am and have black and white spots. I think they look like cows, but then I can be a bit sharp-tongued at times, so I’ve been told. I’ll let you know how my first big adventure turns out.

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Canine Body Language – What Dog’s Are Saying

dog with blinking eyesOkay, admit it – you want to know what we are thinking and saying to you by our canine body language. Well trust me, we have a lot to say.

Now  most of you already know I have issues about my tail, or should I say lack of one. We think it was a litter mix up thing, Maltese & Poodle or just Poodle, who can tell the difference when your are part of two litters born the same day, at the same time and in the middle of an F4 tornado. I will be telling you more about that day in my upcoming book, Siri’s Spring ~ Sir Titan’s Summer.

Back to tails. Most people will look to see if our tails are wagging before making a move toward us, especially with their hand out.  Granted, a wagging tail is often a great indicator of a dog’s mood – but not always. In fact, tail wagging has a lot of different meanings besides happiness. We can show you lots of different moods and emotions with our tails.

A fast wagging tail, lowered, with our head down means we are being submissive and ready to play, especially if you are eye to eye with us. We recognize you as the leader of the pack in our household and understand that you rule (well most of the time). Don’t worry, that won’t last for long before we try to regain control, so enjoy it while we are giving it to you.

When our tails are up, wagging is big broad wags (right – like anybody could tell that was happening on this dog) and our mouths are open with our tongues are lolling a bit means we are extremely relaxed, happy and ready to for some serious petting. In other words, its time for one of those never ending belly-rubs, especially if we are on our back with all fours in the air.

When we are confused about a situation, we will wag our tails slowly. We may also just stand there and yawn a couple of time. Believe me, we are not yawning because we are sleepy or tired. We are thinking. You see it is like this, if we yawn, it immediately sets your mind to thinking about how tired or sleepy we must be. That in turn gives us extra time to think about the situation we may be in and what to do about it.

When we are excited, we wag our tails very fast. If our hips move along with our tails we are really excited and we are expecting a treat. Of course, when it comes to excitement, being overly cute and knowing how to play you for everything you are worth (gee, wonder who would do such a thing?) we may even add jumping around in circles to the mix. So of course, that means that great little “doggie” voice you have saying how cute we are, lots of petting on the head, a treat and for good measure, a loving pick up and hug.

Now, if only we could figure out what you were saying with your body language. I’ve got the one hand on the hip and finger pointed towards the door as meaning “outside, like it or not.” A scrunched up nose usually means we may be a bit wiffy (your fault – you are the one that feeds us.) Oh, and a hand waving toward you means that your last dog lost their hearing and now we have to learn sign language (okay, I’ll give you this one – it never hurts to start young so we will understand you when we are older.)

 

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Halloween Costumes For Dogs

the devil made me do it-free_155411“Oh Titan, where are you? I have something to show you. Just wait until you see it. It is just too funny. I think I will print it out and hang it inside your condo.”

Right, like you think this is funny?

“I’m sorry Titan, but I couldn’t resist. Would you believe the devil make me do it? ”

You are beginning to sound and do things like that Momanger on Keeping Up With The Kardashians we wasted 30-minutes watching last night?

“Okay, I’ll give that one to you, it was a waste of time, but it does make things see pretty sane around here, don’t you think? Seriously, it’s that time of year again when we need to start selecting Halloween costumes for your website, so get ready. I have it scheduled for later in the week. ”

Seriously, it’s that time of year again when we need to start selecting Halloween costumes for your website, so get ready. I have it scheduled for later in the week.

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Dog Bee Stings – How To Treat

siri-daisy-bee-59353319Woozers, do I have a whole new respect for those funny looking bugs flying around with wings extended and a determined look on their face. I only have one question, what did I ever do to make a bee mad at me?

Okay, so I may have trampled a few during my run around the yard each day, but it wasn’t intentional. Do you have any idea how hard it is to run at warp speed while looking at the grown?

Well let me tell you, this bee sting really hurt and it STILL hurts. It could have been worse, he could have stung me on my nose.   I did get my hair done today and Amanda, my groomer could not find the stinger.

Mom and Dad looked but could not find it, so hopefully my paw will stop hurting soon. Just as soon as we find a way of reviving Mom and getting her off the floor (she is such a wimp), I’m sure I am in for a veterinarian visit.

So of course I had to do some research on the subject. Well actually, Aunt Judy did this research for me (Mom’s sitting up now, so I think she is coming around.) Thank you Aunt Judy.

So, remember to hit the print button and put this post in your doggie first aid file. You do have one of those – right? Mom keeps ours in the top drawer of her master filing cabinet, right in the front, before the ABC’s start, because the information is so important. Even the hanging file folder is even red.

Stings from wasps, bees, yellow jackets and ant bites will all cause redness and painful swelling at the site. They will usually only sting on exposed non-fur areas. Gee, they must (wait for it) bee lazy little critters. Seriously, being stung can be a serious situation and I shouldn’t be (oh man, that was so hard not to do) making light of it. This is really interesting, the swelling can also occur in the face and neck area, even though the dog was not stung in those areas.

If your dog is stung many times (I can’t even imagine how that must feel) the absorbed toxins could cause anaphylactic (phew, that is a big word for such a little tyke) shock, especially if the dog has been stung in the past. Continue reading

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I Am a Little Bit Concerned and Jealous

Taz- Warner Brothers & Looney TunesOkay, I admit, I am a little bit concerned and jealous. My first alter-ego is about to come out in fighting mode.  For the past two years and two months I have been the top dog around here. That means 24/7 attention and affection, except when we are sleeping or Mom is away from the house.

Last week things changed drastically. In fact, I haven’t seen much of her even though she is here. She has been holed up in the library/file area of her office. Sure, I can run back there and stand in front of her with my sad-woo-is-me look and she will stop pitching papers and files to pick me up for a few minutes.

Of course that is the same library/file area where those out-of-print books live and I don’t like spending much time there, hence she remembers my faupaw. Seriously, how is a pup suppose to know such things?

I have my masterpiece poor puppy look (I mastered that one the first week I was here and it works every time) that will stop her in her tracks instantly. Then she will turn off the lights, move to another room and it is “all about me-Titan time.”

What I’m not understanding is where the need to throw out files with a vengeance and where her burst of energy came from.  I’ve listened to enough soap operas to know that kind of behavior usually means a huge change is coming soon, if you get my drift. But that can’t be right in this case, she is never out and about long enough and too even notice that kind of change coming straight at her. So it must be the Continue reading

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Happy Fourth Of July

Poodle Dog RunningHappy Fourth of July!

For us doggies, the Fourth Of July is simply a “yes, I did eat that burger that fell off the grill and now I am heading for Mom and Dad’s bed, where I will feel safe after burrowing in underneath the covers – because the sky is exploding kind of day.”

All in all we had a fun day around here. Mom cooked (now there is a really scary event) and Dad barbecued. Mom made Grandmother Nina’s southern potato salad, baked beans and corn. Dad barbecued ribs. I actually scored a couple bites (without the sauce) and they were really good.

After cleaning up Mom and I hibernated in her office and studio (a new thing this week.) I slept while she tried to find a surface that was free of beads, wire, tools, baskets and stacked paper, files and magazines. When I woke up she was still searching, so I guess she didn’t find any. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

Now, don’t get we wrong or anything, but do you see anything wrong with the concept of putting cases with thousands of beads within a paws reach of such an angelic pup like me? I can think of thousands, can’t you? Geez, and to think,  I’m still hearing about the three out of print books I chewed the corners off of last summer.

I’m off to the covers now.

Titan

ps. Happy belated birthday Tiffany!

 

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Dangerous Dog Treats

Hypnotic DogIt’s the beginning of a bang em’ up holiday week. The Fourth Of July – just in case you didn’t know.  A time for family fun, food and dog treats.

As far as I can see, it’s going to be a problematic week at best, or at least that’s the way it is starting out.

First of all my therapist call yesterday and cancelled my appointment on Wednesday. Some vague excuse about being on vacation and the long holiday weekend. Right, so now I’m stuck for eleven days without having anyone to bark my problems to.

I was snooping around Mom’s desk this morning (teach her to put a cushy easy chair at the end of her desk) and found sticky notes about Titan’s yearly checkup, Titan’s shots, Titan’s grooming and Coco’s overnight visit. Okay, Coco’s visits are always fun, but the rest, I don’t think so. I tried to scrunch them up and push them into the trash can, but that didn’t work out so well.  Do you have any clue how hard it is to get a sticky note off you paws? Nope, I’m definitely not in charge of this long holiday weekend.

I did get a fun new present from Dad last Friday. A bird feeder and seed, for outside the window in Mom’s office. I wonder how many times I will scare the seed right out of those birds by charging the window from that chair.  The birds haven’t found the feeder yet. Seriously how dumb are they – a built in buffet hanging out in plain sight, and they are still pecking around the back yard for food.

shopping cartNow that we are talking about food, I think it is time to talk about dangerous dog treats. The majority of pet parents Continue reading

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